Sunday, August 5, 2007

Everybody Panic


January 11th, 2018- Washington DC- Unknown Biological Entity escapes from Top Secret Government Holding Facility.

According to USAF Spokesman Roger Bentwater,
“Well, I was getting burned out denying all this anyway. Yes, there was an alien spacecraft that crashed in 2007, and yes, we have been holding him here at Area 52, and yes, the Spice Girls were complicit in the inevitable cover-up. The alien entity’s name is Isaac and he…. Well, he’s loose. And angry. And he has an unhealthy predilection for probing."

At this alarming statement several reporters begin scrambling for the exits, and some draw weapons, forcing Bentwater to admit,

"Look, I don’t like this development any more than you do. I don’t think there’s any need for panic, but civilians may want to cover their anuses.”

This shocking announcement has been brought to you by TrOut Cold Brand Fish Paralyzer. Try one today- The Intestinal Parasites let you know it’s working!

No comments: