Saturday, July 7, 2007

Gamma Powered Super Apes Nearly Enslave Us All

September 19th, 2007- Cape Canaveral FL- NASA unveils the HAMR- 19 series of mechanical space shuttle pilots. Reaction to the new product is decidedly mixed.
According to Corporal Matthew Bradshaw, “It was really the only way we could figure to continue the Space Program. Repeated incidents of astronaut related violence really has America freaking out right now. It was either use robots, or go back to the damn chimps. However, careful data analysis suggested that dangerous cosmic rays could potentially transform the chimps into superpowered simian Overlords bent on Galactic Domination. I think we can all agree that this “Ape Supremacy” scenario is totally as scary as any diaper-wearing astronaut on a tri-state killing spree. Therefore, the only chance for humanity’s survival was to invent the High Altitude Mechanical Repair series.”
These “Pilots” are also available for commercial applications from United Robotics.

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