Friday, July 6, 2007

The Socket Chronicles

Aug 13th 2006- Brooklyn NY- Local man Samuel Murphy loses control of rented limousine on 7th avenue and causes horrific crash. Paramedics rushed to the scene but flames from spilled liquor bottles helped delay medical assistance. Murphy was pronounced dead at 2:45 at General Mercy Hospital. Mr. Murphy is survived by a wife, Maxine and a son Patrick.
Mrs Murphy was briefly glimpsed on channel 97, stating “ I’m glad he’s gone. It’s just like that selfish bastard to go out like this…. Thank the Lord he wasn’t with that whore!”
Memorial Services will be held at Vonnegut’s Funeral Home August 15th. Other than owners of local strip clubs, Murphy had no mourners to speak of. Donations may be made to Our Lady of Perpetual Motion.

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